Return of the Remedial Spinner

About six months ago, I showed my sister a video of some of my spins and she said that I no longer qualified as a remedial spinner. I'd hoped she was right, but I still didn't think it was time to change the tag line of my blog.

Well, I still deserve the title in spades. I may manage quite a nice camel, sit or back spin from time to time now, but my ability to do it on demand is horrendous.

I signed up for a club exhibition so I could try out my new program in a competition-like environment before Sectionals. They scheduled me last, for which I ended up being very glad. All the coaches left after their skaters finished and most of the skaters and parents had too.

A bronze level program is allowed two spins, and mine are a camel-back sit combo and a solo sit spin, which ends my program. My camel spin has been hot and cold this week, as always. Last weekend, it was eliciting compliments from fellow skaters, but mid-week in my lesson, it was garnishing admonitions from my coach that I need to practice my spins more. (Believe me, I practice my spins a lot!)

Well, in the program, I actually hit the camel! But the back-sit never got going. I kind of hopped around a little, trying not to lose my balance and finally stood up to move on, already late for the next segment of my program. At the end of my program, I step down directly into the sit spin from a salchow. I miss on the sit spin from time to time, but it's more stable than my camel. Well, not this time. I absolutely flubbed the entrance. I stepped into the entrance and then, next thing I knew, I was on two feet, standing up and not having a clue what to do. I absolutely blew it. I don't think I ever even got a single revolution. I basically did a nice deep edge into a two foot gobbledegook. I took a few steps forward, baffled about what to do and then posed when the music ended. It's devastating to end a program with a major mistake.

I was beyond disappointed. I've botched the spins in 2 out of the 3 competitions I've done so far, and now this. I was embarrassed as it was announced that I'd be competing at sectionals. "Not skating like that!" I wanted to shout out to the few people still watching. I felt like I'd had no business putting myself up for the exhibition.

I was so ashamed of how I'd skated. In addition to the spins, I tripped over my feet about 3 times on the hard ice. My parents and roommate who'd come to watch me were very kind, so I tried to shake off my foul attitude quickly. But I'm bummed. I was hoping I could boost my confidence with a strong showing. Maybe the fiery disappointment of knowing I can do better will strengthen me just as well.

I can't put the remedial spinner title behind me. Not yet. I can only work even harder at those spins and hope that eventually, I'll have something to show for it when it counts. (Hopefully next weekend, even?? Sigh, one can hope.)